Wednesday, April 28, 2010

You think English is easy???

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce .
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow..
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? You have one goose, 2 geese; so one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

You are lovers of the English language might enjoy this.
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'
It's easy to understand: UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car... At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is ordinary, but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can have UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . But when the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so......it is time to shut UP!
Oh . . . one more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning  the last thing you

do at night? U-P

Pakistani Politics Receipie

Friday, April 23, 2010

DO U HATE SOMEONE?

A Nice story with a good moral. Please go through.



A kindergarten teacher has decided to let her class play a game.



The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes.

 

Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates,



So the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates.

So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for 1 week.

 

Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags. After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended....

 

The teacher asked: "How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week?". The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.

 

Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game. The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime???"

 

Moral of the story 
Throw away any hatred for anyone from your heart so that you will not carry sins for a lifetime. Forgiving others is the best attitude to take!

Wedding To Start A War

http://www.ahmedquraishi.com/article_detail.php?id=936

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Woh kamraa yaad aata hai

Mein jab bhi
zindagi ki chilchilaati dhoop mein tap kar....
Mein jab bhi
doosron ke aur apney jhooth se thak kar...
mein sabse lad ke, khud se haar ke,
jab bhi us ek kamrey mein jaata tha...
Woh halke aur gehrey kathaii rangon ka kamra,
woh behadd meharbaan kamra...
jo apni narm muthii mein mujhe aise chupa leta tha
jaise koii maa...
bachhe ko aanchal mein chupa le
pyaar se daantey...
yeh kya aadat hai
jaltii dopahar mein maare maare ghoomtey ho tum
Woh kamraa yaad aata hai...

Dabeez aur khaasa bhaari
kuch zara mushkil se khulney waala
woh sheesham ka darwaazaa
ki jaise koii akhad baap
apney khurdurey seene mein
shafkat ke samandar ko chupaaye ho....

Woh kursii
aur uskey saath woh judwaan behan uskii
woh dono dost thi merii
woh ek gustaakh mu-phfat aaiina
jo dil ka achha tha
woh behangam si almaari
jo koney mein khadi
ek boodhii annaa ki tarah
aaiiney ko tanveeh karti thi

woh ek guldaan
nanha sa
bahut shaitaan
un dono pe hansta tha
Dareecha, ya zahaanat se bhari ek muskuraahat
aur dareechey per jhukii woh bel
koii sabz sagoshii

Kitaabein,
Taaq mein aur shelf per
sanjeeda ustaani bani baithi
magar sab muntazir is baat ki
mein unsey kuch poochun
sirhaaney neend ka saathi
thakan ka chaaragar
woh naram dil taqiyaa
mein jiski Goad mein sar rakhkar
chat ko dekhta tha
chat ki kadiyon mein
na jaane kitney afsaano ki kadiyaan thi

woh chotii mez per
aur saamney deewar per
aavezaan tasveerein
mujhe apnaaiiyat aur yakeen se dekhtii thi
muskuraati thi
unhey shaq bhi nahi tha
ek din....
mein unko aise **** jaaoonga
mein ek din yuun bhi jaaoonga
ki fir waapas na aaoonga....

Mein ab jis ghar mein rehta huun
bahut hi khoobsurat hai
magar aksar yahaan khaamosh baitha yaad karta huun
Woh kamraa baat karta tha....

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